Good Grief Bible Study

When Jesus heard of the violent murder of John the Baptist—his cousin and, in some ways, a mentor—he chose not to be in the company of others. In his sorrow and shock, he left to be by himself.

If you are experiencing the shock of grief, you may also be experiencing that uncertainty about what to do and how to act that Jim and Jan are describing above. C. S. Lewis, in A Grief Observed, noted that he thought, as he mourned the death of his wife, that to some of his friends he was “worse than an embarrassment. I am a death’s head.”[1] Some people may not know what to say or how to act; some may say things that they intend to be helpful, but we don’t find them helpful at all. It may be that our reaction is to avoid contact.

When we have friends in such deep grief, we may feel at times that we are being shut out. This may hurt; it may annoy us, or we may understand that our friend or family member needs space—for a time.

When we experience the shock of a grief, we may not feel like ourselves. We may not want to return immediately to our old way of dealing with people in the neighborhood, at work, or in the family. Don’t let this frighten or disappoint. We may just need that space—for a time.

Granger Westberg’s advice is to make sure this withdrawal doesn’t last too long, though. “The sooner the person has to deal with the immediate problems and make decisions again, the better.”[2]

Both the griever and the helper are taking deep breaths. When the time out is over and we feel more like being with others, returning to some normal flow of life will feel good.

Brent D. Christianson, The Good Grief Devotional: 52 Weeks toward Hope (Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press, 2019).